Tuesday, December 11, 2007


In light of my recent success as a television critic for the local Syracuse newspaper, the Post-Standard, I have been inspired to begin my own blog where I can critique to my heart's content. All of the opinionatedness without the pesky, 300-word-count limit.
Of course, it would be my luck that I become a TV critic and all the writers go on strike, but, as always, the world goes on. Now, as a television fan I am of course lamenting the fact that this strike has lasted more than...oh, about 12 seconds. But as an amateur (I wanted to use the phrase "up-and-coming", but I thought that sounded a bit arrogant) television critic and blogger, I will be taking advantage of the strike in several ways:
1.) I will take the time to find my voice: the only thing I know about this blog is that it's going to be about TV. But there are tons of other areas I want to explore: movies, music, video games, you get the idea. So while TV is in recession, I am free to unleash my critical fury on some other forms of media and discover which ones I can write about as an informed voice and which ones are just me blowing smoke out of my ass.
Also, as you can probably tell, I think my sense of humor makes me the sharpest wit since Jim Gaffigan, but it is often misunderstood. My brain works in very mysterious ways, and it's hard to communicate with a large audience when they can't understand what language you're using. So until I manage to get ahold of a Whatever-The-Hell-I'm-Speaking-to-English dictionary, I'll just have to keep practicing and hope that, like an American in Paris, I can pick up enough of the local vernacular to get by.
Then there's my serious voice. It's a voice I don't use too often, but sometimes the situation calls for it. Serious fare has never been my forte, but I cannot call myself a true writer unless I am willing to tackle any subject. Thus, I will spend some of the upcoming TV-less months practicing my gravitas.
2.) It's easier to write a bad review than a good one: The best television shows (or movies, or music) all have a certain indefinable quality that makes them great--what the French call a certain "Je ne sais quoi". But when a show sucks, o-ho-ho man, it's easy to see why it sucked. Human beings are interesting in this way--we have a million and one ways to describe what bugs us, but ask one of us why something makes us happy and we clam up like a Buddhist monk. Just call me a slave to trends, I guess. And let's face it--there are few experiences more satisfying than just ripping apart something (or someone) that irks you to no end.
So with all the "good" programming on forced hiatus, the crap quotient on the boob tube is going to skyrocket as reality shows, game shows, and whatever-the-studios-can-get-people-to-watch-that-doesn't-have-a-script shows will flood the airwaves. And while a few hidden gems may emerge from this desperate treasure hunt, those pearls are going to be few and far between--most of the next few months is going to be nothing but mud. And who doesn't love getting a little dirty?
3.) I ain't in this thing alone: My roommates are probably gonna hop on board the blogtrain along side me, and the three of could use the time to coordinate our efforts and see if we can't make the whole greater than the sum of our parts (and considering what our parts look like, that would be a pretty poor sum indeed.)
So willkommen, damen und herren, to my humble little blog in its tiny corner of the internet. Perhaps one day it will grow into so much more, but until then, may you be entertained and amused (though not necessarily in that order.)

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